Surveys report that people are attracted and fall in love with people who have differences with themselves. For example there is a woman who is agile, cheerful, has a lot of activities and is active, she sees a man who is quiet and calm. “Well, this man is very cool, if there is next to him it feels calm, peaceful, happy”. So she fell in love and went out and got married. But after marriage he often felt frustrated. Why doesn’t her husband have anything to do with it? Otherwise “beat” is not there. Whereas since long ago he was quiet. In fact, he used to be interested because he saw this man as a calm, calm figure, which gave a sense of security.
Similarly from the male side. She is a quiet woman who speaks a lot, agile and sees her as an extraordinary creature, inspiring, energetic, so enthusiastic. When with him he felt like he was fiery, passionate about learning and working. And he fell in love. The difference is beautiful and then makes them fall in love. But often after marriage this difference is what triggers the quarrel.
So often actually our partner doesn’t change. He used to talk a lot. He used to be quiet. Since dating he has been. But when the heart has changed, then our point of view changes. So actually to get married and be happy we don’t have to change couples. But it’s changing our perspective. It actually changes as it used to be when we were still dating, which is the view of love. When there is love then difference is not a problem. Because we can make a difference with love. With a good point of view, that difference is to complement each other. That difference is beautiful. If we think that the differences are to complement each other, then in fact we can be happy even if there are differences.
A lot of people fight not because of the difference, but because of his heartbreak. Because there’s been a sense of displease. Disappointed, bitter, hurt. Then disappointed, the heartache made a negative point of view. So everything becomes negative. The difference becomes negative. Differences are a source of contention. But people are interested precisely at first because of differences. At first there was no disappointment and no bitterness. That’s how we build happy families. We become a happy family not if we succeed in changing others.
Change our partners, change our children as our demands and concepts. We can get married, be married and be happy if we can accept everyone for who we are. When accepted, others will be happy. When happy, others will change. But don’t accept it in order to change it. You will be tired in the middle of the road. “Already doing good, why hasn’t he changed too?
You accepted him because you loved him. Because you love him then you accept him. And when he’s accepted, he’s happy. And when he’s happy, he changes. It even changes or we accept it because we love it. Then whether it changes or doesn’t change we’re happy. If it does not change then the differences we behave as a thing to complement each other.
The difference is as beautiful as the beautiful rainbow. Rainbows are formed due to a wide variety of different colors. There are different habits, different treatments and behaviors, it actually makes the household complete and beautiful. Therefore let us be wise, by being able to accept the differences that exist.