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if you have to face a friend like this. No word, never chatting again, knowingly coming for help. Familiar, again! However, behind his annoying attitude could be that he doesn’t want to go on like that.
Here’s a quick tip for you not to feel taken advantage of anymore, as well as some positive thoughts that try to uncover why there can be a friend ‘like that’. How do I deal with friends who come when they need to?
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If he does come for help when he doesn’t padahal communicate for a long time
It could be:he’s actually been on this issue for a long time alone. He’s been trying to deal with his own problems, but he’s never finished. So when he felt like he could no longer afford it, he came to you. It could be that he disappeared because he was busy dealing with the problem.
The solution for you:you can actually stay with him from the beginning. Communicate frequently, exchange news. This is at the same time so you can check whether or not the problem is happening. As long as you can help, please before he asks. If you can’t help, at least, you’ve been the listener all this time. With you saying from the beginning that you can’t help, this will make him understand better. Get to know each other. Know each other’s stories and problems. Don’t you wish he had’t come when he needed help, then you want to be good friends with him? Then do it.
If he asks for help just for you again and again
It could be:he thinks you’re the only one who can be relied upon. He once asked you for help and you helped him, making him feel like he could ask you for help again. Maybe he only has one friend like you. Maybe, you’re the only one who knows all the secrets and the problems, so he believes because you never revealed the secret to anyone.
The solution foryou: make a covenant. If what he borrows is money, ask him when he can return it. Get used to it like this, so he doesn’t spoil you. Or if he disbelieves, try to make sense of it. If he reneged on the covenant just because of his selfishness and he let you down, you would know how to deal with a friend like this.
He’s benarreallyjust using you.
Not only does he come when he asks for help, he doesn’t care about your feelings and condition. This kind of thing, the nature of being used to relying on others is already mushrooming its flesh. The worst thing is if he always asks for help for the same problem. As if you had not learned from the problem, as if for him, your kind-hearted origins were always willing to help him.
The solution for you:if you are really tired of always being utilized, then go. Avoid him and say firmly to him, you can no longer help him. However, if you feel you can still help improve its nature then advise it. Of course it will not be easy to advise especially to someone who does not ask for care. Be patient. Try telling me how your point of view as a friend feels taken advantage of. If necessary, find a solution together so that he no longer familiarizes his bad attitude.
Can you tell him that you don’t want more people to hate him. Tell him you can’t always help either and you have a problem that he never cares what it is. Remind him, don’t rely too much on others. For if one day a man no longer exists, he will be very distressed.
Remember,tell him everything to touch his heart and open his mind. Not patronizing, scolding let alone doing things that would make things worse, like spreading her disgrace to social media. Stay with friends like this. Be patient, rest assured he will change and become your best friend. Good to have a good ‘new’ friend, yes.